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✦ one time rostam batmanglij favourited my tweet ✦

Me: ah, yes. Home alone. I can do whatever I want!
Me: *turns TV up a couple notches*
Me: *watches YouTube videos without headphones*
Me: shit getting crazy up in here

suspend:

i want kids but im scared they’ll blame me if theyre ugly

suctioning:

this-bi-guy:

After he nutt:

image

delete this

diancie:

beyonseh:

she’s so well mosturized i love it 

This makes me want to wash my face. Actually I’m gonna go do that, brb

edenrook:

Get out me car

edenrook:

Get out me car

Marzia: Things made with flour. Cake
Felix: Plastic
Marzia: Try. Harder.
Felix: OH, FLOUR. I thought you meant flowers *pronounces flour differently*... Uhh, Cakes
Marzia: I said cakes
Felix: No I said cakes
Marzia: Cupcakes
Felix: That's cakes
Marzia: Stop it
Felix: Bread
Marzia: Donuts
Felix: MY ANACONDA DON'T
Marzia: STOP!

disappointingly-probably-human:

So the other day in maths we were learning trigonometry and this girl was like: “why do we have to learn this anyway?” and the teacher was like “oh just cos” and I laughed and i was the only one in the class who did and then today I got this award

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subjectnumber32:

outerlabia:

fpti:

earlygr4ves:

i walked into health and screamed and the teacher goes “you’re the 7th person today. they’re cpr dummies.”

jesus christ

they’re calling to mother for food

F  E  E  D

subjectnumber32:

outerlabia:

fpti:

earlygr4ves:

i walked into health and screamed and the teacher goes “you’re the 7th person today. they’re cpr dummies.”

jesus christ

they’re calling to mother for food

F  E  E  D

japhers:

folwer:

but its important

IM SORRY BUT IM DYING THEY LOOK LIKE A BOY BAND

japhers:

folwer:

but its important

IM SORRY BUT IM DYING THEY LOOK LIKE A BOY BAND